Living Hopefully
During a discussion about the four promises Rob spoke about in our last post, Liz mentioned about living hopefully as we wait expectantly. In this blog post, Liz describes what living hopefully means for her in light of her uncertain future.
Liz joined Jubilee shortly after her father’s passing three years ago. She is a musician, and uses her firsthand experience of disability to advocate for a more inclusive and accessible industry. She uses her music to open discussion about disability, grief, and mental health challenges.
Liz is an ambulatory wheelchair user and lives with Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome (hEDS), a connective tissue disorder which can cause frequent dislocations, pains, and tiredness. She also has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), a developmental condition which causes social, communication, and sensory differences.
Searching for hope
Often, I find hope hard to come by; I mean, who can find it in a fallen world of suffering? I wake up most days kind of dreading the future, where it will lead, and how it will turn out. I fight to feel hopeful; I know intellectually I should, but when I don’t, it stirs a battle which leads to further despair.
I recall reading Ecclesiastes about six months ago, and thinking it was just going to further dig me into the hole I was stuck in. People often cited it to me as a depressing book. However, I actually sobbed while reading, because it resonated with my experience of the world; it reflected the philosophical loop holes I had caught myself in. How could something written thousands upon thousands of years ago make sense for our current day experiences?
It’s now my favourite book of the Old Testament. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit gothic, who knows. But as I got to the finale of the book through blurry vision, I realised the true message of Ecclesiastes and it cemented its top spot;
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.” – Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
God’s Kingdom Order
The message wasn’t one of depression or of an empty world that repeats the same cycles, but tells us that God will work it all together and bring His justice. Our only job? A deep reverence for Him and following Him.
A life without God is a life without hope, and while we may not see it happen in our time, God will bring everything to order. All we are called to do is trust and follow God wholeheartedly. It wasn’t a breakthrough moment, but it was one I desperately needed reminding of.
But then I started falling down the rabbit hole again; why must I just struggle through unseen? Why must I endure the cycles of the sun as shown in Ecclesiastes? Why can’t He right everything now?
Then I was led to this verse;
“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Romans 5:3-4 NKJV
The Root of Hope
How strange that the true root of hope is tribulation. You’d think that would have the opposite effect, right? When I have trials, I get frustrated and feel discouraged, not hopeful.
But I’ve come to realise that hope is not something to be felt moment to moment as much as I’d like that to be the case; it’s a state of being that comes within your character shaped from the suffering we persevere through.
I often feel suffering happens in silence, and I’m learning to be okay with that, because I know that God sees it, is not silent, and will bring it to justice.
I choose hope, not necessarily feel hopeful. Sometimes feeling hopeful is a tall order, right? But if my character produces hope naturally through my suffering, I don’t have to fight hope anymore like I did before. I simple just live in it.
Thank you Liz for your courage in sharing your authentic self with us.
